Hello! We're already near to the end of February. I can't wait to go out from my Foundation year!
There were so many things happened that acted like a catalyst for me to study freaking hard and get lost from my foundation place.
First of all, someone was downgrading me. I don't "really" mind if someone wanted to do so if he or she is really good in certain things. I don't mind but if there is slightly difference between he/she and me, that's totally unacceptable. What I've learned is the definition of beauty and brain should be changed to brain and manners. Beauty is not matters anymore. You're not able to stick to a particular group if have sucks endeavors. People won't be pleased if you keep on hiding your attitudes behind your beauty. Later on when you're looking for a partner especially when it towards life partner, be meticulous about their attitude because you're gonna spend the rest of your life living with a person and bearing with their attitudes. Imagine what if they don't really know how to respect people, how to be careful when uttering something that might hurt anyone else, what will happen to your relationship then? I hope that whoever dealing with the attitudes problems, get the guidance from Him. I can't blame anyone as I like because I don't know them inside out. They're only my "new friends". How I interpret new friends? A friendship that haven't reach one year period and those that I rarely eat with at Anjung Dengkil (my cafe in college)
Last week was a hectic and roller-coaster week. I swear to God that we've so many things to be done and I'm in charge in handling activities for club's Family Day (I shouldn't complain any because I know I can handle every task given!) *suddenly I've been surrounded by positive vibes* The peak situations are on Friday and yes, also Saturday. The other groups suddenly asked my teammates to swap the group for Economy presentations while I've read through the topics that been given to me. And the real topic that my group has to do after the swapping session is Government Policies and mine is Monetary Policy. It's a hard topic. I was trying to understand each word that I was reading on the night (after Isyak) and at the same time my "friend" bring her friends together in our house and eating ramen if I'm not mistaken. They were quite loud. I could tolerate it because you know it's hard to handle ourselves from laughing hard whenever we are spending our time with our good friends yet pls man respects others' privacies.
I've been burying my madness, dudgeon, and what-so-ever we called it since the first semester. Also, I had told her that I'm quite sensitive when it's loud. Yes, I'm stressed at that time but I already gave them hint to lower their voice. I couldn't handle and I got burst. Yes, my fault. my fault. my fault for not giving "sufficient" hint for them to lower down their voices. My fault for not being "sporting" enough to be uncomfortable when someone enters my house (our house) without giving salam. Yes yes yes. Everything is on me. And you're acting like I'm the one who should settle this down while you don't realize you don't have a sense maybe you lost your senses because you were overprotecting your good friends at that time. I even lowered down my ego for the sake to fix the relationship because we're "close" friend. I guess it didn't work. I don't care as long as I've done my part which is asking for an apology because everything that happened was on me (even tho you've contributed in this case)
Sometimes we have to lower down our ego to fix a relationship but if you've done everything that you are supposed to do and everything keep on the suck ways, be patient. You're doing a right thing. You lose nothing. You've done your part. Allah will understand. Chill!!!
I've economy presentation and hafazan tomorrow. Plus, I'm going back this weekend! Chao!