Monday, April 2, 2018

Precious March

Hello everyone. I wish you have a good day. Guess what I'm still at HOMEEEEEE because my faculty is having the E-learning week. All lectures and tutorial will be held online hehe. It's quite complicated but yeah it feels good to be at home.

Fyi, I'm going to conclude everything that I'd gone through in March in this post. 

UM Info Day 
This is an event where we basically promote UM Law School to Asasi KPTM students. The first question asked by them to me was “Is it hard to be in UM?” I gave them option whether they wanted me to sugar-coat or to be frank (tho I already know they wanted the real answer). “Yes.” There’s nothing easy in university life. Nope. Life is hard but you gotta hit it harder.

I met Ms. Akhmal! My favorite lecturer when I was in Dengkil. I’m glad she still remembers me and my gang – qistina and zaza. Oh, yea! I met my juniors from SAMURA as well. They recognized me easily but for me as usual for some circumstances, having a problem in remembering details about others.

Mock Trial
Frankly speaking, I never imagine myself to be part of the Malaya Mock Trial team because appearing in front of the crowd of people isn’t my forte. Even though my character is kinda insignificant (LOL) but I learned a lot from it. If you don’t know what Mock Trial is, it is like a theatre but it is not fully scripted, the students involved are law students, the content is more to current issues and a bit explicit (this is my personal view haha). The first thing that I’ve learned since the day I joined this team is teamwork. No matter how small your character is, you still have the responsibility to play your role seriously. Even though you think that you won’t give the big impact in a certain situation, but other people could see the difference when you start to give a commitment. Next, mock trial makes me realize how vital the backstage people in everything. Eg: People wouldn’t see the smooth running of the Mock Trial if we don’t have the makeup, technical and logistics team and people that actually involved with us, indirectly. Hence, it is important to respect and appreciate everyone around you. You will never know how significant they are until you lost them. Yes, I didn’t regret being part of Malaya Mock Trial. 

My TREEvolution
My parents should be proud of me because I planted for our earth kot! Frankly speaking, I joined this for the sake of the national merits. I want to stay in college so bad even though the wifi connection sucks, the fees are expensive and I rarely get the chance to ride with a bus because of it packs within a blink of eyes....  But still, staying in college is fine enough for me. I could walk to class la. Hm talking about walking to class, I don’t know why every Wednesday I will stay up late until 3AM even though I know that I have 8AM class on Thursday morning. Oh ya, I slept at 3 because I need to catch up with my study and tutorials because my mock trial training usually ends around 11/12AM. And yes, I woke up at 7:30 every Thursday for week 5 until week 7. At those moments, I really appreciate my ironless bawal and shawl, jeans and t-shirts. I will choose to wear sports shoes bc I literally running from college to faculty within 10 mins. I’m proud of myself because I managed to be in class on time. 

I met someone
I met my friend from PIC. He had a writing workshop in API. I persuaded him to apply to UM for his degree. Well, I've been persuading lots of people to join me here, to explore the world and to feel the pain as well. 

Student Exchange Program (SEP)
This is the best bit of the month. This program started from 4 until 17 March (2 weeks). It was enjoyable. But what I regret the most is I couldn’t spend my time with my buddy, from Indonesia, Elsa. SEP was overlapping with Mock Trial and that was the reason why I couldn’t spend my time with her. I feel bad for her but I am glad that she’s very understanding. If there is upcoming outbound, I will surely pick UNTAR as my choice! Besides being able to expand my circles, I’ve gained knowledge as well. As Technical and Publicity Team, we had to handle Client Consultation session. It was great though! I’m planning to join the Client Consultation competition because I feel like it is a very good exposure for a law student. You’ll get the experience on how to deal with your clients that come to your firm. Moreover, there were a lot of talks held throughout the two weeks but unluckily I couldn’t join all of them because I can’t skip my lectures as I like huhu. Oh yes, I joined dikir barat as well for our cultural night haha nice experience and I finally know how to speak Kelantan haha. 

Delegates picked up at KLIA 

Client consultation 

Your future Judges?

Despite all the enjoyable events that I had, I’ve been dealing with the most awful emotions ever. I felt lost. I felt worthless. I felt like I shouldn’t exist because I’m such a troublesome. Though some people always remind me that no matter how horrible I feel about myself, they will always look up for me… I just lost the confidence that I have about myself. I wonder a lot.

Why Allah keep on testing me? It was so heavy. The pain felt like a sharp-toothed creature eating me from the inside. I felt like I was drowning in the deepest sea where no one comes to save me. It made me suffocated but a few days later when I was reading Quran, there was a verse than mentioned that “Allah won’t burden you with something that you cannot bear.” 

My mom always tells me to believe in Him. Whatever happens, there’s always a reason behind it. There’s always something that you can learn from it. I tried to take it easy. I believe that it will pass. Have faith and chin up.  Pain is temporary because there’s nothing permanent in this world. The only permanent thing in the universe is the Hereafter. Again, I survived. I didn’t kill myself (lol).

Alhamdulillah. There's no word could describe how thankful I am to have them as my friends. 

Little Rant 
When you see someone is sad, stress or any roller coaster emotions, can you stop directly say “go perform your solah and keep on sabr, you’ll be better”, “OMG! You won’t be this hopeless if you don’t skip reading Quran and solah properly.” Like dude, watch your mouth. If you don’t want to put an effort to understand one’s hardship, you better shut up. I’m not saying that what Allah said is wrong, but there are certain situations where that kind of concept is not applicable as the first step. Probably works when he or she is stable. Okay, I've finished my rant.

Have a good April everyone! Next update will be on May, in sha Allah :)