Decision

Hello. I’m sitting outside, on the bench, trying to inhale the oxygen in my small garden and exhaling all the negativity that I’d in life. 

I suddenly remember about those days when I had an argument with my parents because I didn’t want to pursue science since I know I cannot handle equations. I’m not really good at literature either but for me, literature is better than equations. Generally, words are more soothing compared to numbers. It is worst when numbers are mix with alphabets. It sucks.

Up until today, I didn’t regret the argument that I had with them. People used to say that you know yourself better but at the same time, there is also saying that stated that your parents know what the best is for you. No harm. Both parties correct. However, there is one point in life where you don’t really have to rely on your parents’ decision. It is not to disrespect them but you know what you want in life but you have to justify and give them a concrete reason, don’t just simply say you don’t want to follow their decision because you won’t win if you do that.

True, our parents know us better because they are the person who used and always support us in things that we always thought we are not capable of. Why they keep on supporting us even though we see zero possibility for us to succeed? because they see the hidden gems in us but we are obstructed with skepticism on our potential. This is what my parents did when I was in school. But now, I am an adult, I should be able to think rationally, I know what I want in life, I know what I am really capable of.

My parents said “why don’t you just study science because you already have the basic? You won’t have a problem as you studied maths and science since kindergarten?” The first thought that came across in my mind was “They don’t understand.” That was the truth. Frankly, not all parents have the same education journey like us – we got lots of exposure on courses that provided by universities started from our high school period, personality tests or even chances to meet the counselor to get help on what would be the best field for us based on our attitude and interest.

I know my parents realized how well I did in history and languages subjects and sucks at science and maths. Yes, I do love science subjects. I enjoyed learning it but just because you love it, doesn’t mean it is meant for you.  I never have interest in history subject but when I found out that I am able to do well in it, I built passion. That’s why, when I got the UPU offer which was Foundation in Law, I didn’t hesitate at all. I convinced my parents that KPT would give us allowances so they don’t have to spend more money for me because UiTM got the cheapest fees. I believed that was a solid reason HAHAHA and surprisingly, they approved. 

Again, your parents may know what is the best for you or even they don’t really know what is the best for you, our parents always try their best to give everything the best for us. However, remember that you are the one who will endure the pain in every decision that you make or they made it for you. Know your stand. It is true that we have to respect our parents. They’re the key to our blessings. Talk to them and convinced them with your heart. 

I think it also depends on how flexible how parents are actually. My parents are strict when it comes to benevolence and lifestyle but can be flexible when it related to studies. Both of them are working and since I am the only daughter, I had to handle myself alone. No joke, but my mom told me she doesn’t have any idea how I could get to the stage every year because she doesn’t really catch up my progress in school.

Just because they don’t approve your decision in the first place, doesn’t mean its something that is cannot be fixed. Do your best as this is your life. My mom once told me that she didn’t agree when her friend wanted to have a marriage arrangement between his son and me because she believes that I know what I want and I am the one who will go through the marriage journey and not them. (I realllllly respect my mom’s decision on that part HAHAHAHA). Wow, I feel like an adult when typing this paragraph. 

Lastly, life is all about options. When you have options to choose, choose which one is the best for you. But, when you’re chosen, do your best. Remember that you always have right to choose.