Count your blessings

Not sure whether I should apologize for taking a long time to come with a new post. My blog is dusted with the old posts. I actually have lots of draft in my laptop but it takes lots of courage for me to post it to the public. It happens every time. 

There is abundant of new issues but I don’t think I’ve interested enough to know all of them. I want to be woke about all the issues happening across the world but hey I’m such a lazy person especially in this holiday break which makes my laziness getting worse. I even told my mom that I don’t want to find a job as I gave up in searching it.... and I promised her that I would be rajin all the time and try out many new recipes lol. 

Before I go further I just wanna tell you that this year is the longest and the most productive Raya so far after I’ve been living for 20 years hahaha (Sorry I can’t help myself from typing “hahaha”). I went to follow my mother beraya like every weekend. Every weekend ada je open house. Oh yeah I’m going to follow my mom to her reunion next week. Couldn’t imagine how drained I would be on that day... because my mom knows lots of people and lots of people know her.. she told me she was quite popular during her high school time. Maybe I should be started to believe in her. 

The examination result for the second semester was announced today. I was scared. But not having panic attack like I used to. I like it. I’ve improved a lot in handling my anxietyyyy hehe. But...... unfortunately, I couldn’t access my result because I haven’t fully paid my fees. It’s okay lah I already redha for my result. No matter what happens I only hope that I could pass every single semester. I’m not hoping for flying colors; being able to see “PASS” is more than enough.  

As usual, my friends will ask my result and hahaha this time even me myself don’t know abt it. Some of them complained, some of them glad that even tho they didn’t get what they expected to, they passed. Regardless whatever situations my friends are facing, I am glad that I’ve been surrounded by people who didn’t lose hope to Allah. I’m happy about that. 

My mom — the most positive person I’ve ever met. No matter how hard the situation I’ve been handling, she always reminds me to have faith in Him. If you’ve done your best, let it to Allah. Let Him decides what is the best for you. One thing that I want to emphasize is... what do you think is good for you, not necessarily good in the eyes of Allah, The Almighty. We never know what will happen in the future. Good results might  make you distant from Allah, that’s why He gave you less that what you wanted to. He gives what you need. Not what you want. Trying to live a life with those principles, in sha Allah, you’ll find happiness. Do strive in whatever you do. But don’t put 100% trust upon your effort. Little did you know that no matter  how hard you’re working on something, if He says no, it will never happen. Allah kalau makbulkan doa, pisau yang tumpul pun boleh tajam. 

“If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings)” — Ibrahim: 7 

I bukan nak buka kelas cara-cara bersyukur ke apa but not many of us are actually realize that there are many things in life, is actually a blessing. Besides, we never know the value of something until we lose it, right. Have you ever consider your health as a blessing? Your parents? Your good friends? The ability to buy what you what? The ability to see the world without spending hundreds to see things clearly? Hanya orang rabun je faham I :')

I don’t know the value of a pair of legs until I had surgery in 2015 and when the doctor said I can’t do sports as I used to. Imagine..... Baru kaki kot?!? Baru injured sikit... Belum kudung lagi? Started from those days, I never downgrade whenever they say they’re sick, they need help because I know how painful it is to be sick.... and how shameful it was to keep on relying on people because you can’t do anything by yourself. I always feel worthless because of my condition because I know it won’t be the same again. It hurts my pride whenever I can’t help my parents doing the house chores because the doctor said I should avoid myself from doing heavy chores because it will make it worse. I honestly have a hard time in loving myself since the surgery I had back in 2015. 

But... just because kau rasa worthless takkan kau taknak teruskan life? Even time tu dalam otak ni asyik rasa nak bunuh diri sebab rasa anak yang paling tak guna sebab.... sebelah kaki dah barai hahaha. Tapi tulah Allah dah cakap hidup ni tak boleh give up. Alhamdulillah Islam. Ni ha, jadi Islam dari kecik pun ramai tak sedar benda tu nikmat Allah. Ramai orang yang dah besar baru peluk Islam cakap betapa indahnya Islam. Betapa hebatnya dapat rasa kasih sayang Allah. 

“And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them.” — Ibrahim: 34. 

Banyak lagi rahmat yang Allah dah bagi. Kita je tak nampak as we blinded by the disadvantages that we had. Biasalah, kita manusia biasa. Memang asyik lupa je dengan Tuhan. That’s why we need a good environment to live in. Biol mana pun member kalau dia care pasal solat, you better keep them. 

Lagi satu, besar mana pun kasih sayang seorang ibu, Allah’s love toward His Servants wins. See? Kita terlepas Subuh, ada ke bangun tidur tangan kaki semua tak ada? He gives us chances to repent. He knows that humans make mistake. That’s why He loves those who repent. For me, having lots of good people in your life is one of the blessings that I couldn’t ask more from Him. 

So chill jela hidup ni. Kita kan hidup dua kali. But we need to ensure that we prepared the best here so we can have a good life in Akhirah :) Belajar pun ibadah tau hehe (macam takde correlation tapi takpelah) 

If you've any suggestions (on what I should write in the upcoming post) or any questions do hmu at https://aqilahnasrin.sarahah.com as I have plenty of time to be wasted. 

Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk. Have a nice day, people!