Thursday, June 15, 2017

Not everyone was raised like you

Hello! I've no glasses on my face because I'm wearing a honey mask and sadly everything isn't as clear as before. My shortsightedness level is increasing but yea I still want to type it. It is 20 Ramadhan today. Time flies! May Allah choose us to be one of those people who meet the Lailatul Qadr. Amin. 

Last Friday, I went to Shah Alam with my good friend, Qistina, to pick our official transcript for our foundation year. After that, we went to KLCC but we were a bit exasperating because we couldn't able to sit + gossip and eat together because it's Ramadhan. I mean, there are so many restaurants and good foods there. I also bought a Sherlock Holmes' book. It is a combination of The Sign of Four and A Study in Scarlet. I don't really have time to read it due to Raya's preparation but yeah I'm gonna make it during raya. 

Ok, back to the main point of this post. 

Have ever get mad because some people couldn't follow the way you live in a particular situation? Take me for an example. I've been raised by a perfectionist mother. A mother who doesn't like the messy spaces, love formality in most of the aspects of life and also freaking details, organized and neat. So, when it comes to me. There you are. My mother's trait is in me. 

In 2014, when I decided to go to boarding school. I'd so many thoughts were lingering in my brain. Since I'm the only child in the family, I'm having trouble in sharing my stuff, a bit socially awkward for such a long period and whatever it is. But, Alhamdulillah, I adopted very well with the environment and survived. 

My problem is I don't like people who aren't organized, people who are loud and I went nuts every time I saw it and it was more frustrating when I already told them to fix that situation. For many years, I've been facing these problems. 

But, at the end of my foundation year in Dengkil... I realized about one thing. Not everyone was raised like me. Not everyone was raised by a perfectionist mother. Some people might be raised with a maid at home, a soft-spoken mother who will fix every error that you make without getting mad on you, a father that doesn't mind about formality, a family that has lots of member in it and many other aspects that you actually can take it into consideration.

Thus, apply it on every issue that you need to tackle in life. 

Second Example: English proficiency. 

I was lucky enough to get into a foundation in law because this course really helps me to improve my English. I came from a family that doesn't speak English at all. My parents only know the basics vocabulary but yes Thank God that I love foreign languages ( English and Arabic) since I was a kid. I even had an obsession toward the Arabic language when I was in primary school. My love for English was continued to grow til I got into my former secondary school. I always excited for English classes but my friends were those who made me feel disheartened because they didn't want to participate in class. I always felt like I'm the only person in the class because the only person who talked to my English teacher is me and always me. My environment didn't help me to improve my proficiency. Same goes to my second high school, even tho it is a boarding school, talking in English isn't something that school emphasized on. My bad. 

Thus, when some people aren't able to speak English even the basic one, I do understand, especially my former schoolmates. The environment itself make the students become discouraged. When you wanted to talk in English, people will glare at you, giving you such a disgusting look, people will call you as someone who wanted to show off, etc. However, when you have grown up, you shouldn't use your background as an excuse for your demerit. Improve yourselves. Be brave. Never afraid to make mistakes. A mistake is what makes you grow wiser. 

Third Example: Lifestyle 

Some people have no idea how lifestyle could give such a huge impact in building your personality. Lifestyle is including your types of entertainment, your family's stand, your education background, your activities that you did during your childhood, etc. As for me, my parents didn't allow me to go to the cinema until I was 14 years old and until now whenever I go out with my friends and watch movies, I don't tell my parents hehe. Besides, I don't watch lots of English movies before because my mom doesn't allow me to do so and I'm not even questioning her about it. I've been spending my entire life in the field, tried my best to make a new record and rarely read English novels but I read lots of magazines; Ana Muslim, GenQ, Solusi and my book's genre is self-help and motivation. I wasn't exposed to a wider genre that's why I'm a bit conservative for certain aspects of my life. Also, most of my cousins are hafiz and hafizah, and yes it affected my life as well. The only first white people in my life is Justin Bieber. What could you expect from me? My mom was banning western's media in life til I was 17. Told you I got some sorts of culture shock in Dengkil. I couldn't agree more when people considered me as a boring person because I didn't watch a lot of movies. I'm sorry, but now I'm 19, a major and I'll try my best to catch up em. 

That's why, when you meet some people who're struggling in improving themselves in Deen or anything, help them, understand them, never torture them with words that could break their hearts apart and make them discouraged. Everyone is still learning. 

Lastly, you need to take time and think with a wider perspective whenever there's a new matter, affair or drama that happen in social media and news. People are diverse in many ways. People could be so judgemental when they started to assume themselves as someone who knows everything. They've been drowned with their own ego to the point they don't wanna look and hear others' opinions and ideas. You never know how amazing diversity works. 

Again, not everyone was raised like you. Learn to accept others with warmness and always be wise in handling all circumstances in life! 


afifah said...

I tried to accept everyone for this same reason - not everyone was raised like you. Sometimes it was hard but I'll just continue to try and try and try and try and try.

// afifahaddnan

spitoutblog said...

Rasya brings me here.
I havr ti agree with her that this post is a good one and tell me to recheck myself. Learn and accept the and adapt.